Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
