So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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