Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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