The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
