I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
