Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
