One girl and one boy is just not enough.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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