If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
