I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
