Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
