Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
