just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
