i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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