I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
