Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
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