Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Ketchup is God's man juice
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
