I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
