It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
