I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
