he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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