not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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