you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
