Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
