yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Did I show you my penis last night?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Randomize
