Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Randomize