take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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