I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
