i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
