so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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