he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
