this boner is exhausting
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
