Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Panties = found
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