wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
