White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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