he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
