Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.

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(214): View more from Texas

did it hurt when the cum got in your eye

(469): View more from Texas

not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash

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(409): View more from Texas

Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.

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