What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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