Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
