who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
