can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
