You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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