Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
