Porn is love you can see.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
