my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
