And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
