another moral hangover. fuck.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Someone shit on the floor
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
