I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
