hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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