She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize