Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize