i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
