we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
