true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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