Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
