GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
