My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm both gender and math confused
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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