I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize