I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
