some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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