i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
