who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
