i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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