The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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