Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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