dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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