You can't special order awesome
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
