she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
