Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
