Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Houston, we have a blender
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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