check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
