I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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