the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
