That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
